


130. Ryan Kwanten spends more alone time in Vermont

by alley_oops, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Sam Worthington and Ryan Kwanten [130]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), True Blood RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-03
Updated: 2008-11-03
Packaged: 2018-01-15 22:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1322236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica





	130. Ryan Kwanten spends more alone time in Vermont

_**Ryan Kwanten spends more alone time in Vermont**_  
[occurs the morning after [Sam spends his second night alone](http://www.journalfen.net/users/sam_worthington/16382.html); will be backdated]

_Sam - everything in this place is fucking haunted. Ghosts everywhere. Spurned lovers, child slaves, dead soldiers... Jesus. I didn’t see any last night, but there’s supposed to be a lady who walks these stairs._

Ryan sighs and hits the send button. He could have been the ghost himself last night, sleeplessly prowling the inn’s halls as he was. The sound of his footsteps long past midnight might well have freaked out some of the other guests, but he just couldn’t sleep... Why the hell is he doing this to himself? To them? Or, even worse -- what if Sam is fucking fine without him? _Sounds good_ , Sam had said when Ryan told him of his travel plans. Maybe Ryan really is in this alone. Sam loves him, sure; Ryan is confident about that. But Sam is not the desperately-pining-away type in this relationship. Nope, apparently that role is all Ryan’s.

So... what? Ryan sucks in a breath and leans on the railing of the inn’s footbridge, watching the creek rush past beneath his feet. He needs Sam. He needs Sam to a freakish extent, so much so that it dramatically upsets his equilibrium when they’re separated by more than a movie set. And Ryan hates that. It doesn’t seem to matter how much Sam reassures him, Ryan still is unable to _believe_ that his clinging doesn’t drive his lover crazy...

“Fuck,” Ryan mutters, and steps away from the bridge to trudge across the lawn. Manicured greens soon give way to untamed wildflowers, and he shivers a little in the early-morning chill. Sam puts up with him. And Sam claims he can handle Ryan’s obsessive moods. So maybe that’s the key: maybe Ryan needs to somehow accept that these... moods... are just not going to go away. They’re not a phase, and they’re not something he’ll grow out of. He’s obsessive, he’s jealous, and in his relationship with Sam he has discovered a previously-untapped wealth of codependence. Perhaps acknowledging that these are simple rock-solid facts will defuse them somewhat, take away some of their power.

And god, if he can deal with that, then he can quit trying to prove to himself that he’s stronger than all of his doubts, and he can run the fuck back to Sam like he’s been dying to do since he left.  



End file.
